I have cut out most carbs, obviously I still consume them for runs, but in everyday eating I am better off without them. I was a devout vegetarian for the past few years, and found out that my body is so carbohydrate in-efficient that I needed to get back to eating animal proteins and meats again.
I am able to eat meat again, mainly poultry/fowl and fish/seafood.
I drop weight easily when I cut down on my carbs. I just need to find the balance where once I have met my weight los goals, how many carbs can I intake and not gain, nor loose any more weight. Once I get to that stage, I will be one happy camper!
So I am not putting much stock into my nearly 10lbs weight loss so far. My body always drops weight quickly in the beginning. I have been hydrating like mad, taking my multi-vitamin, and eating mostly salad veggies and chicken in MUCH smaller portions that I normally would.
That has been a major issue for me, portion control. For me it was never about weight or appearance as I was a size 6 with a killer rack (lol). For me it was about control. Control over my life.
I know that I am a binger. It gets to a point when I literally CANNOT stop eating. But that all stems from emotional eating
I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the past 5 months or so. I have come to a point, the apex if you will. My sole desire now is to get better, and in order to abolish this BED, I have had to confront all anger inside me, confront all sadness inside me, and really confront what my issues are. In engineering we call this root cause analysis.
Well I did that. The culmination was my freak out last Saturday night. I had finally gotten so many things off of my chest! It felt wonderful to finally just get it all out in the open. I let out my feelings, so I could finally deal with them.
And the amazing thing, I no longer look at food for comfort, because I am healing myself through friendhips that are true, and bringing the unconditional back into love. Now whenever I see something that even a mere week ago I really would not have thought twice about shoving in my face, I am not even tempted. I am facing all the things that I do not like about myself, and finally doing things about them. I am taking the power out of my insecurities. I am empowering myself in the precess.
Please know that I am not denying myself anything, but I am simply not wanting any of it. I think that I have actually taken the power away from food. It is fuel, not emotional healing. I really need to remember that.
1 comment:
Jenn, I am an emotional eater too. I am SO guilty that it's SOOOO sad. I am glad that you recognize and are facing it. I would talk to your doctor or a dietician about your concerns with the weight loss. I think it might help out.
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