Learning to Push Through.

The past few weeks I have been travelling for some workshops with my work teams.  A week in Mexico, a day in our North facility.  Flights and drives along with late nights / long days.  The workshops have been all in all very well executed, with some of the biggest take-a-ways for me being those that I can incorporate into my personal life, not just professional life.  They also showed me that I am able to push through and get it done.  This was not always the case.

We spoke a lot about value of a team, values of self as well as the core values that make up our team and company.  Sometimes taking the time to put words down on paper helps identify the path we wish to take. We may think we are on the right track, or that we know what we hold dearest, however if you reflect on the words that you envision shaping yourself and your values you may see a different picture.

For instance, I used to sit on the couch and watch workout videos.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  I would sit on my couch and watch workout videos in hopes of getting the motivation to actually do the workout.  I would occasionally start with the warm up, but then I would be so out of breath or so sweaty that I would just give up. 

It is too hard!

I would say to myself as I slumped on the couch watching those über fit people on the screen breeze through the routines with ease.

They are fit, I am so out of shape - I cannot do this!

I would say to myself as I grabbed the bag of cheesy-poofs or a candy bar and unwrapped it admiring the workout clothing and choreography of the exercisers on screen wishing that I had that body.

They are so lucky to have been born that fit! 

I would think while munching away like a couch potato.  

However, everyday I would put in that DVD and watch the video.   In my head I thought that I wanted to get fit, I thought that I was just easing into the workouts and was watching to gleam what was coming before me.  In reality I was just lazy.

If I had written down the words that made up my values, then I would have seen that what I wanted and what I was doing to myself were two totally different things.  The workouts were not too hard and the instructors were not too fit. I was getting out of my comfort zone and the second that happened I freaked out. 

Some values that I hold dear to myself both professionally and personally:

Fidelity

Strength

Determination

Empathy

Support

Recognition

Achievement

Perseverance

Back then I was not working towards or possessing any of these values;  I was fostering a false me.   I am going to take some time in teh next few weeks and realy sculpt out the core values that have the most meaning to me in my life and set upon a path of working on supporting them in everything that I do.  I think that this is a good exercise to get back on track or to use as a sanity check - am I really on the right path for me?


I have come a long way since the days of cheesecake induced food comas and nightly viewing of exercise videos.  I now know that I can push through the discomfort.  That by pushing through means that there is a point on the other side where I will emerge, and while not easy the discomfort becomes tolerable again.

Fast forward many years,and you will see me sitting on a plane to Mexico a few weeks out from a half iron race.  On this plane I am eating healthy snacks that I brought for myself - a protein bar, a dried fruit "roll-up"- reading magazines and planning out my week's training while on the road.  In the airports you see me gravitate towards the customizable food stations - the Chipotle, Q-Doba, etc. varieties - ordering brown rice with pinto beans, covered in a mountain of grilled peppers, onions and lettuce, topped off with some yummy hot salsa.   You see me at the hotel going to bed, setting my alarm for a 5am wake up even after travelling for over 12 hours.  You see me waking up at the right time, putting on my workout clothes and trudging around trying to break free from my sleepy haze. You see me struggling in the first moments of being awake and thinking to myself - am I really doing this?  The bed is right there.  I am tired and sleepy... but I can push through.  I know myself too well by now.  If I don't do it now, there is no later.  Later never comes.

You see me in long hours of workshops, followed by long nights at group dinners.  You see me having an adult beverage or two, but also drinking lots of fresh bottled water and eating vegetables and salsas.  You see me skip dessert which is unheard of for me - but then snack away during the workshop which is much more par for the course.  You see me wake up morning after morning, running mile after mile all while maintaining a happy attitude and enjoying the trip to Mexico.

While those are the details, what you are actually seeing is me pushing through discomfort and attitude, and emerging on the other side better for it. 

The biggest take away from the workshops is that we (I) do not give as much as we (I) can professionally and in personal interests.  There is always another degree, another inch that we can go in some facet of our life.  Not every facet nor all at once/all the time; in one facet we can dig a little deeper and push through when needed.

I am not the picture of perfection in health and fitness.  I am learning much like we all are.  There are deep ingrained habits and reactions that I am working to overcome and to change and pushing through mental barriers is the first step.   If you find yourself quitting just because you are uncomfortable with the effort - be it anxiety, fear, increased heart rate, the general feeling of discomfort - do not quit.  Do not rob yourself of the potential to feel something great.  Push through the haze and see what is on the other side. 

I promise you that once you push through it gets a little less scary each time.  While the haze of getting out of the comfort zone never goes away you can make it smaller so that each time you face it you are more confident in survival and reward.  That leads to motivation and momentum.   

Are you willing to push through something today to see what is on the other side? 

I know that I am, and while I am starting over on some things I am ready to push through the tough few months of getting back into a groove.


And with that, a quick update on how my training has been going.  I have been hitting the bike on either my trainer or out on the trails the past few weeks when I am at home and then making good use of the treadmills when I am not at home.  I have been getting in the time, but really struggling to hit my prescribed paces and or power targets.  This is starting to bother me, but I know that in time it will come as long as I push through it every day.   This week I have been good about getting in my bike and runs, however the pool remains as an area of improvement.  I know what I need to do and that is my goal for next week.

I will push through the anxiety of being bored in the pool and get in all of my swim workouts next week.   Time to channel my inner goldfish. 

Looking ahead for the rest of this week I have my long run tonight (2 hours!) and then my Race Rehearsal swim, bike, and 1 hour race-paced run.  Sunday is an off day. 

Promises... not problems.

Guess what? It is that time again! We are over the Turkeyfest, the gift unwrapping and the festival of lights, now on to planning the night of nights - New Year's!

Every year we take time to do a tally of sorts. We see the new year as a chance for a new us, or a new begining to something. We resolve to change.

But first we look over the grand list from last year. In one column goes what we wanted to accomplish - our list of resolutions - in another goes the checks as to if we have or have not accomplished those goals.

So how good was your resolve in 2008? For the first time ever mine was pretty good.

However, I need to state one thing right here and now. I hate using the term "resolution" because it makes me think that there is a problem that needs to be fixed.

I don't smoke, I barely drink (seriously had maybe 10 drinks all year!), and I do not diet. I am active, I am busy, I am not broken and do not need to be fixed. So with this I stopped doing resolutions, and started to make myself promises.
I have found that resolutions are easy to abandon, however a promise even if only to myself is something that I have to deliver on. You may think that a promise to yourself broken is a victimless crime, but honestly if you cannot keep a promise to yourself, then you need to think of yourself as a more important of a person than you may right now. :-)

1 year ago I made one singular promise: to loose the weight once and for all.
My goal was to lose ALL of the weight I needed to (65-70lbs), and through running, triathlon, and Weight Watchers I managed to drop 40 lbs pretty easily. Not too shabby! The kicker is that I changed my lifestyle and the weightloss followed.

While I do not consider this a completion of the goal (I have another 25-35lbs to go) I have managed to sustain real weight loss... I kept my promise to myself.

So looking towards 2009 I am making myself two promises.

I promise that I will keep on with my healthy lifestyle and will get to a sustainable and healthy weight range for me, with my BMI in normal range. (I kid you not - at a size 10 I am considered obese by my BMI!)

I promise that I will take up another activity for fun and stress relief, not sport. This is key - NOT for sport. It can still be something active, but not something that I would be competitive with.

I already have a few activities in mind; indoor rock climbing, pottery, or jewelry making. I will try them out and see what fits for me.

So there we have it. Two simple promises, but if I keep them they are so much more than something to check off a list. They compound each year and add to a lifestyle change that is greater than any singular resolution.

So looking forward to the new year - what are YOU doing? Do you have any resolutions, promises, or the like? Or are you the person who does not make them?

Do you want to get back into shape? Start running? Take up a craft like painting or pottery, or cut down on some activities and focus on home life?

Let me know what, if anything, is on tap for you in 2009!

Every great journey has a starting place. This is mine.

My BEST 5K race ever was 33:13 and change - and I honestly do not remember EVER running that fast back then. I feel that it was a timing error, however after reviewing the results for both me and my running partner at the time, we both finished in 33 and change, so maybe I just have amnesia.

The reason that I feel St. John’s was a fluke if not a timing error is that all my other races from that time period do not come even close to that time - but hey I could be wrong. I was never a consistent runner, in endurance, speed, or emotion. I always joked that I had two speeds - on and off.

Today. Well today I pushed myself. I mean I left NOTHING out there to be had. I couldn’t even sprint it in in the end. I was spent by the end. Loops and loops of hills really wear you down in time. But at the end of the day I can say proudly that I RAN my 5K today. I am sorry - I should have said that I SMASHED the 5K today.

4 laps totaling 3.1 miles.

Hills, hills, and more hills!

The race starts with a nice downhills slope across the train tracks.

You turn right and then you are going on a slight uphill which eventually flattens out and then bam! You are on an uphill that goes around a few corners, and then you flatten out to the finish line... which you pass 2 more times during the course of the race.

You then go on the flat, turn right and go downhill again to meet up with where you started and follow the same path you just left until mile 1.

Mile 1 - 9:08

Inner voice says "Fluke". Legs say otherwise. I feel strong, I feel confident - and heck I just bagged some cushin time! By the way - this is my FASTEST 1 mile ever, in a race or out. 9:22 was my quickest mile before hand, and that was during Turri Race Day 10K back in 2003 - mile 1. I had to run walk the rest of the way during that race due to going out of the gate way too quickly.

You keep on following the same loop as you started - up hills flat up hills flat, downhills flat uphill until mile 2.

Mile 2 - 9:16

Inner voice says "hey - not so much a fluke." Legs agree - still feel strong and push up the up hills, but I can tell that I am starting to feel a little fatigued. Only 1.11 miles left! I can do it I just need to push it.

I then realize that I am able to pull out a 30minute 5K or even under if I really dig my heels in (figuratively speaking of course) and push myself. I am doing it. I am going for it. No slackin goff now - MUST. PUSH. THROUGH.

Oh guess what - you keep looping until you hit mile 3, and then through the last flat to finish. I tell you what - I was really fatigued on that last hill as you can tell by my last mile time.

Mile 3 - 10:03

Inner voice says "OUCH. FATIGUE! I can do it!" Legs agree. They are very fatigued, but I know that I can push push push and hit that 30 minutes. I am SO close! There is no way that I am going to let up now - so I lift my head up and charge up the last hill to mile 3 which it crests at.

Now here is where I loose faith in Garmy. According to my Garmin GPS unit, AKA "Garmy", I ran 3.11 miles in 29:39 or so and finished the 3.21 miles race in 30:twenty something. Garmy says the course was long by 0.1 miles. No biggie - I know that I pulled out an amazing race on one of the hilliest courses I have ran on of this length!

According to the chip/mat time I finished 3.11 miles in 30:twenty something. Garmy shows the same time - just different miles. I will have to go with Chip time as that is what is recorded - so my official time has yet to be posted and I forgot to hit my Garmy to stop it - so once it is posted I will know what my for realzy time is.

At the end of the say I have killed both my goal (sub 35) and my stretch goal (sub 33). I even approached and brushed up against my 2008 ultimate 5K goal of running a sub-30 5K.

Some of the greatest things about this race - running it knowing a lot of people on the course - all of the RunningFit peeps were there, my partner in crime Lana was there, and a few other tri peeps were there as well. I got to cheer them on, and they cheered me on as well.

It was great running with people, running into people, and just being in an atmos phere where people were cheering me on as well. It definitely made me feel like a runner. I am so proud that I pushed and that I lived. I know that I can do this. I know that I have had a MAJOR improvement in the past 6 weeks - but I have earned it for sure.

This little victory makes the past 3 months, and all the months ahead of me well worth it.

Every great journey has a starting place. This... this is mine.

Thank you everyone who has encouraged me and supported me these past few months... and heck my lifetime! Lana, Chia, Doug, Ken, Jane, Waddler26.2, Par, Ava, Mike (of course!), Heather (thank you for your amazing words the other day!), Casey, Karen, Jules, Kim the soon to be iron girl! , Kelly W., Christina... everyone! My efforts are not in vain or for vanity and you all understand this.

})({ RunnerGirl

Thank Goodness It is Friday!

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FITNESS CHALLENGE UPDATE:

Last night I did a run/walk mile, instead of a TT. I had eaten a large dinner (I was starving!) aand when I got out for my run, I started to feel sick. Oh well. I did something, and I feel good for it. Tonight is a rest night for running or even cardio, so I will be hitting the gym for some strength, abs, and stretching.

8/16, 9:00 PM EST
Run/Walk 1 mile: 12:00 minutes on the dot.
RECAP: Felt good running again. My left knee is a little tender. I buted out sub 1-muinute mile pace while running around a 10:40 on average) and walked slowly when walked to settle down the tummy.

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I am a little happy that this week has flown by so quickly. Not for any particular reason, but I feel like I still need some rest. I have been trying to get 8 hours of sleep a night, but still manage to get more and remain exhausted for good portion of the day. I am going to play around with the sleep thing for a while until I get it right. I go know tht my body respond to odd hours of leep best. I feel better with 5 or 7 hour of sleep than I do 6 or even 8. I do not know why that is, but it has helped me stay alert on some looooong nights in college. Studying of course


I am finally feeling some order in my life. The past month has been huge emotional time for me. Not about anything really dramatic, only in my happiness in my career choices. I am an engineer. Manufacturing in particular. That is derived from mechanical, but then we study elctronics and materials as well as human safety factors, and ergonomics/human movement. Pretty much I want things to fail and then find out why. Exciting stuff really.

Months ago I said that I had a big suprise... something that I would not be telling until the time is right. Well I have agonied over this choice for month now and I have got all the ducks in order, a plan in place, and am executing the plan starting 9/4.

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I have been reflecting back on what my Senior III Biology professor told me
right before graduation. "You should go into the health sciences. You have
such a nack for people, as well as the drive to help them. I think you
can do good things out there."

This really hit me hard, because first off - I started school to be an
engineer that was not wanting to work in automotive. I wanted to
be a genetic engineer and help find cures for diseases. I wanted
to help people. The first step was to get an engineering degree... then go
to med school.

Well I got sucked into automotive as you tend to do when you live in
Michigan and attend the former General Motors Institute of Engineering and
Management.

I told my prof that it was too late. I had completed my thesis, and
was 10 days out from gradauting with my degree. My path was
set. She told me... no it is not. It is never too late to do
what you truly love in life. Flash forward 6 years and now I am
in a situation where I can do something about it all.
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Since I am now paying for my Master's degree out of pocket, I have decided that I do not want my MS in Engineering Management, nor my MBA. Instead I am taking the steps to learn about what I really want to, what I have wanted to for years but never had the courage to do it.

I am currently working on my Graduate Certificate in Clinical Exercise Science here at Oakland University so I can graduate and be done with OU once and for all. (it has taken me three years at less thn part-time pace to work towrds my MS degree in Engineering Management/MBA.)

While I am working on my Graduate Cert., I will be studying for my Personal/Fitness Trainer certification which is through a recognized association/council such as the ACE (American Council for Exercise) or the NASM (National Associate of Sports Medicine). After receiving my CPT and graduating from Oakland University, I will be moving on for my M.S. in Human Movement with a concentration in Corrective Exercise. After completion of the MS degree, I will then take my advanced certification in Corrective Exercise Science.

I may not be able to help people on a gentic or molecular level, but I can still help people achieve goals and recover.

And that makes me happy.



I hope that you all are doing thing that make you happy. I have learned that when you deny yourself what you truly desire in life... you are doing yourself a big disservice. There comes a time in each of our lives that we must put the stake in the ground, and follow through with the choices we make. Good or bad. That is how we grow as people.

})i({ Runner Girl