So... obviously I am not terribly happy with my current weight. I have lost 30lbs and that is great. Heck I am back in my size 10's again (yippee!). I have however, 30 to 40 more to lose.
Last weekend when I crossed the finish line at AA I knew one thing - I finished stronger than I had started. I was a triathlete forged out of dirt and blood. It made me so happy to finish a race stronger than I was to start it. In fact, I finished stronger than I have felt in a long time. I broke myself down and rebuilt myself up over those 19.5 miles. And not once did I argue about the time. I took my mind off of a finishing time goal and just completed the race at my best effort. What a huge difference in my athletic life that was. Wowie wow wow.
I am in love with triathlons. The variability in it all. The variety. The strategy. The difficulty. The excitement!
It resparked my love of running, which I had been missing for years, previously running for all the wrong reasons - as an escape versus a pleasure. It introduced me to cycling, which I am pretty good at (hills excluded). It introduced me to swimming, which I feel happy doing (embrace the inner fishy!). I actually love all three disciplines. And I have pushed myself to grow in each sport individually, not just as bricks and multisport events.
However, I am still a runner at my core. And with that an internal alarm has sounded. Fall racing season is coming! This week kicks off the fall marathon training season. 16 weeks out from a good number of serious distanced races. Well I am doing it. I am throwing my towel into the endurance ring once again. I have a bone to pick with the 26.2 distance, so I am leaning towards my safety zone of 13.1. 8 weeks into my training I either suck it up and go for the long haul, or I pick up the speed and work on refining my half. So in 2 months I may just post that I am going for the Marathon... or that I plan on PRing in my half. We will see how I tackle the 16 milers to come before then... it is afterall a big mental game,and one that I am not positive I am up for this year.
This weightloss will help me keep on going stronger and stronger. I feel this amazing body waiting to crawl out of the fat shell I keep it in. I have a full 2008 schedule of races and travels, and with that I need to remain focused on dropping the weight FOR GOOD.
- JUNE - AA triathlon, Wisconsin trip and Big Fish triathlon
- JULY - Chicago 4th celebration with Shar/Matt and Carl's family triathlon
- AUGUST - Mexico trip, Lansing Legislator triathlon (oly?), T-Rex Triathlon (maybe?), Island Lake of Novi triathlon, CRIM 10 miler
- SEPTEMBER - Michigan Tri and Du championships, Autum Colors duathlon
- OCTOBER - Brooksie Way half marathon, Detroit (half) marathon
Seeing the pictures of me from the race last weekend shocked me a little. The biking pictures especially. Dang. I feel that I did not do myself justice. I got to 30lbs down then I just sort of stopped. I feel that I am not taking myself as a healthy person seriously. I contradict myself and it is ticking me off. I do not consume sugar in my meals, but in that bag of dark chocolate peanut M&M's? THAT sugar doesn't count.
Hey a browie is zero points. It is a neccessity afterall. You cannot live without brownies!
I need to free myself from the shackles of this weight. But I have been trying to do this for years. Why will this time be different? Because this time... I REALLY want it for myself.
What I need to do is get back to tracking my daily inputs and expendatures. I balance my checkbook for my monetary health, why on earth did I stop balancing my "checkbook" for my overall health?
I really would love to push for the Olympic distance tri in August and the Marathon this fall. The only thing keeping from reaching those goals is me. I have dedication. Can I make the time to put in all that effort into swimming a mile? I need only 6 weeks or so to get there... so I know that I have JUST enough time to get to the distance if I start now. Do I have the mental power to overcome my fear of the 26.2 mile run? If I can keep time out of it, then yes. The problem is that the longer the race, the more concious about my pace I become. I have too much time to think and play numbers games. I need to teach myself to love to run that long distance. I need to fall in love with 4-6 hour runs. I can do it, I just wonder how long it will take me to get there. Run it and it will come. That should be my new mantra for distance events!
I guess that this is GO time.
Just where I am going to? Well now, that is a question for my life's journey. We will just have to wait and see for the answer!
Keep on running!