I had to call off work today because I am exhausted. So not cool... and so not productive! :( NOT awesome. Not awesome in the least. Today I am here at home watching TV. And sleeping. And catching up on blogland.
Rocks informed me that my A-race Oly tri NEXT JUNE has been SOLD OUT. It is November, the year before the race. Seriously! Sold out already? I guess that is what happens when they only allow 400 people to partcipate. 2009 I will so be there. So in lieu of the Big Fish this year... I will tackle Motor City.
So Rocks I will see you at the Motor City Tri!
The beach swim start for the Motor City Triathlon
Yesterday on the way to work I heard something on the radio that got me to thinking. The theme was "Are you a believer?" and although they were talking about the Lions being 6-2 for the season already... whoooooping the Bronco's arses this past weekend... it resonated with me.
Not the Lions, but believing.
I believe in other people, often more than they believe in themselves. I never ask for proof on intentions, only that you strive to be the best you that you can be. I am a work in progress and every single person has to start somewhere. Everyone is a work in progress.
Many people on the radio were saying that they were not believers in the "new" Lions. They feel that they have not beat a team that is 500 or over yet
(more wins than losses), therefor it really doesn't count.
Many times I would stop believing in myself because my achievements were based on similar constraints. It doesn't count unless there are over so many people in the field, or the weight loss doesn't count because I should have worked harder.
Isn't a win a win? Isn't a loss just that... a loss? Do people think that the Lions are sandbagging it? Hardly - they do not have control over the teams they play. The play the teams as they come on the schedule.
A few posts back I was in a rough spot. I was thinking through the mind of the person I used to be - timind, afraid of judgement, and not believing in myself.
I have come SO far in the past year. I have fought many demons... all of which were mine to slay, not imposed onto me by anyone except for my insecurity in certain situations.
I started swimming, battled the common problem of freestyle breathing and being comfortable in the water. To top that off, I am comfortable in the skin I am in. I just forget that when I go out of my comfort zone. I revert back to that timid, afraid Jenn who thinks that people can see through her tough skin and see the doubts floating through her head.
If they see my doubts, won't they start believing them as well?
If they do... oh well! That is not what I want my journey to be about. My journey is about pushing myself and growing into the person I want to be. If anyone else has doubts about my abilities, I just cannot spend the energy on that. It cheats me out of the experience, and it cheats my friends out of a confindent and solid friend.
Life hands us a map with the milestones blurred out. It is up to us on our journeys to bring clarity to those milestones, and bring them into focus. Worrying about what people will think of me is not a milestone. Being there for a friend in need is. Achieving something great, even if it is great only to me, is. Following someone else's map is not.
This past weekend while clothes shopping with my gal Christina (the bunny) I realized that I have become a different person. Not just physically, but emotionally. In a moment of weakness I may waffle and go back to doubts, but when I wake up I realize that I am a lot stronger than I sometimes give myself credit for being. And at the end of the day as long as I am true to myself - it will be all good. ;)
I guess what this is all about is that I have woken up - and gained the perspective I forgot about in a moment of weakness.
So this upcomming Saturday - if I am healthy enough - I will be going to the swim practice of my tri club, and I will not be nervous anymore. My nervousness has transformed into excitement.
I am working at kicking this sickness once and for all so I can enjoy getting back into the pool!
I hope that everyone is having a great week so far! :) STAY HEALTHY!