Well today marked the last LSD for this cycle of training. AND BOY WAS IT C-C-C-C-C-COLD!
Today was a 10-miler, the body’s a lil sore. The feet a lil tired. The heart a lil more happy than pervious.
Getting out there in a freezing rain with headwinds the entire time let me know that I am ready. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. I am just ready to get out there and cross that finish line. And I did this all without the Garmin. Yep - I did it by listening to myself. **shocker**
This race is like visiting a friend. Familiar yet things are different, and we have 13.1 miles to catch up on. All of the "Oh! Remember last year when I stopped right here to take in the views" and the "remember when I felt like giving up on you right here... and there... oh yeah, and there?"
I imagine the dialogue would go a little something like this:
me: *kicking feet into the ground a little* So yeah, here we are again. Another year has passed, eh?
FREEP: Yeah, but I knew you'd be back.
me: Umm... you did? How? We parted on pretty bad terms last year. I remember us both dropping some pretty nasty language out there on the course.
FREEP: Silly child - you always come back. Even when you should just stay at home - uh, I mean that in a nice way, you know.
me: OK, well you got me there. But why am I so attracted to you?
FREEP: Well, it may be that you have a lot of fun with me... that you like the time we have spent together, even through some bad times - you still walk away from me with a smile and a sense of accomplishment.
me: Well, geez - don't be modest or anything. You come off a little all important there Freep. I mean I like you and all.. but really.
FREEP: LOL.. OK so I was being a little full of myself - I just love it when you come back to grovel at my start-line, and then bust butt all the way through to Ford Field. We have had some pretty good heart-to-hearts out there.
me: Yeah, we have. Good times. But why are you so hard on me?
FREEP: Well, I am not hard on you. YOU are hard on you. I thought that you would have realized that by now. You do a little deflection out there. I am always me, you just take some of my hills as punishment. Honestly.
me: Wow... ok, um... well thanks for being such a good sport I guess. I mean I am sorry it has been a year and all. But in all honesty on my side - that tunnel time really punched me in the gut. I hated you for that. I mean I truly loathed you. How could you do that to me after all that I had done?
FREEP: Ok revisionist history girl... I didn't do anything to you. You helped a friend out in need, resilting in you missing the cut-off. I didn't do that. YOU did that.
me: Oh. You just like deflating all of my perceptions about us, don't you?
FREEP: Pretty much.
FREEP: LOL... right back at ya!
FREEP: So, are you going to kick it up a notch or what? The finish line is calling you!
**after finishing at Ford Field**
me: Thanks! It has been real. I cannot wait for next year. We will have so much to catch up on!
FREEP: Agreed! Take care and I will see you next fall.
Yeah, so I guess that is what I expect to experience out there, lol. But in all seriousness, I have realized that I deflect my emotions on the course. Sounds a little silly I know, but hey what can I say? I am a silly girl. A deflective silly little girl.
I really did swear off the Freep after my horrible showing last year. But after 8 months off, I realized that I could not let it end that way... no way. I am back, not for retribution, but for un-pausing the stop clock on my journey.
I mean, in all honesty, I have come this far... I am going to see it through. My journey is still in it's infancy. I have such a longer way to go, and I am really excited about the trip - not just the destination.
Over the past months I have met, both virtually and in real life, some amazing runners who keep me going by giving me the strength to continue when I felt low, my friends have held my hand through some tough times - some even calling me out on how I am feeling (how do you seem to know me so well? Ahhh yes - I guess I can be transparent at times. Knock Knock...). My boyfriend has been here witnessing the trials and tribulations as they come - offering to tear down the walls with me, and my family is cheering me on from afar - and even though I am self-sufficient and very independent, I know that having all of this here, you my readers, friends, and family - you have added to my journey and made me smile while on the run. And that my friends, is a pretty hard thing to do.
In 7 days time I will be sitting here at this very computer typing up a race report. Who knows what it will entail, just know that it will be well earned.
To those of you running in a marathon, half, or any distance for the first time - I will be thinking about you this weekend. The feeling you will get once you step over the finish line will make you cry, or at the least you will have a feeling of accomplishment.
Some will never want to run again, some will be hooked, and yes - even some will not be satisfied with this rush and will push themselves to bigger or faster races (Crazy! lol)
But no matter what category you finish in, just know that you finished and your journey just got a little better!
Ohhh yes... the journey just got a little better.