Aug 23, 2006

State of The Union - August 2006

When I started I was heavy, a little depressed about myself and how far I had fallen behind where I was the year previous.

I am lighter by 22lbs, have regained my running confidence, and set a nice reachable goal of the Chicago Half, and the Freep Half (AKA Detroit Free Press International Half - 'Freep' is the local
nickname for the Free Press), both in October 2006.

Last night I actually lay in bed crying. Why? I think that maybe I have realized that what is holding me back is my fear... of success.

I realized that in my life I am the one who ultimately let me down. No one else I can blame. Why is it that I set goals, and once I am on track I derail myself? Fear of actually succeeding. Odd,
I know. My fear is that If I think I'll succeed and don't I have failed... but if I fail from the start it is expected. Hence my fear of Failure.

But today I fear no more. Today I own my life again!

And that is the state of today.



Anonymous said...

yay for owning your life!

fear of success is gigantic. my favorite way of dealing with it? thinking, "what do I have to lose?" if I try something, and it doesn't work (it fails), what did I lose? Also, viewing choices as working vs. non-working decisions. You made a choice, it didn't work. Okay, so figure out how to make it work in the future. that removes blame/judgment from a situation...

Jenniferlyn said...

Angie.... you are great. That is such a wonderful way to look at it!

TNTcoach Ken said...

Angie has hit the nail on its head. That's why we have erasers on pencils. It's about learning and growing form our failures. Boy, I'm sounding wise, duh!!!