A thief of a blogger

I really should just have Bold post on my blog - I like the way he and AJ think. I stole (politely) Bold's term "Sub-fun". Now I am blatantly stealing his and AJ's "pictures are proof".




Pictures = proof.



If there are no pictures then it did not happen.



Here is proof of what I did today AFTER a long day at work. AFTER a long drive home. AFTER seeing that it is 32* out AND snowing.

THIS is what I did:

Did RunnerGirl go spurlunking perhaps?

Nope. But I can see why you'd think that. (Nice headgear, right?)

Did RunnerGirl go mining today?

Nope. "Father... *cough* I think I'm getting the black lung *cough*"

Did Runnergirl rob a really really cold bank?

Nope. But I should look into that to fund my addiction to techie geeky things.

So why is RunnerGirl all bundled up, wearing some sweetassed LED headlamp?

Yeah she went out and did a run. A 1 miler just for fun.

A 1 miler just to start to get into the habit of moving again. Heck after my 2-miler Saturday I decided that I need to keep on keeping on. Not like - go out and do a 10K keeping on, but go out and enjoy a run for a bit.

A sweet slow little 1 miler to start off on getting to running for pure fun and loving every step... no matter the distance (I WILL love my half marathons again!)

Time and patience. Two things I sorely lacked back in 2003-2007.

A simple no frills 1 miler to mark that training has no off season. A nice leeetle 1 miler to prove to myself that yes, after a long day at work, after a long drive home, and yes even after seeing the sky flurry with diamondlike snow - she can still get off of her ass and run a mile.

For fun.

Some may call these junk miles - but I call them forward motion.

Triathlon, running, cycling, swimming, health - life. It all starts with this one little mile.

Since I am on a base-building adventure - and since this little adventure of mine started just 2 months ago I have actually made improvements. I can now swim. *whew!* That little tidbit is muy importante if you want to do a triathlon, no? I am comfortable in the pool - and have a ways to go - but I am comfortable. 2 months ago, not so much. Today? Definitely.

Also since the start of my base-building extravaganza, I have really started to listen to my body. Running is fun again. And the reason I ever let it not be fun is that I would start TRAINING for things from zero to full distance. Burn out, sub-fun, no joy. Time and finishing became the goal - not going out and enjoying it.

So now I am going to enjoy my little 1 milers. And then I will enjoy my little 2 milers. I will also enjoy my 5ks, 10ks and ultimately my half marathons again. So no more going from couch to half marathon - I am being a little smarter this year.

Also - my body will tell me when it is the right time to move from one distance to the next. I am not going to plan on it - I will let my body guide me there. Ultimately I want to do sprint and oly tris this year, with some 5k races mixed in. I really would love to do teh CRIM 10-miler in August, and teh Freep halfmarathon in October. But my body will let me know when it is right.

I figure you cannot get burnt out if you are doing what your body likes to do. There is no off season, and there is never a reason to not like what you arae doing! (Can I get an amen?)

Oh my goodness.. Doug - I really do sound like a cheerleader.

*shrug*

Oh well - Go Team!

Congrats to Pat and Marcy for running PFChang' (Pat the full and Marcy the half) this past weekend. Way to go!

And happy 1 year anniversary of meeting in person Pat and Denise! So when is the next meet-up? We should pick a race and plan on doing it together - sometime in 2009. :o)

})i({ RunnerGirl

The Dialogue Within

It is amazing what happens when you set a hard and fast goal and really want to succeed.

I call this my "steak in the ground" moment. I put down the steak and live with the choices I make - however there often come with that a fear of the unknown. A fear of failure *gasp* A fear of success. A fear of actually sacrificing to make it work.

Why?

So here is the little inner dialogue I recently had with myself as i set forth my new goal of 20lbs additional by my b-day.

Come on girl! You can so do this!!!! What is your excuse this time?

Failure?

Sorry... errrrnt... wrong. Not an option chica.

Shut up shuttin' up and just freaking DO it already.

I like seeing the body I am developing and that in itself should be all the motivation I need, right? However I STILL have this freaking fear of success. I am almost afraid of commiting to the goal. I know - sounds rediculous, and obviously I want this bad enough if I am spending both time and money on loosing weight and getting stronger and healthy.

I am just afraid that everyone thinks that I will fail, so what will they think if I succeed. This is one fear that I can do without.

So - I did something about it. I read something Friday on Little Miss Runnerpants' blog that really jolted me awake. In it I think I have found the answer to my fears.

Read this and let me know if this answers any questions for you as well, because friends, this was my wake-up call. And it is my new mantra... well it is a little long for a mantra... so this is my new philosophy.

Live the lifestyle instead of paying lip service to the lifestyle. Live
with commitment. With emotional content. Live whatever life you choose honestly.
Give up this renaissance man, dilettante bullshit of doing a lot of different
things (and none of them very well by real standards). Get to the guts of one
thing; accept, without casuistry, the responsibility of making a choice. When
you live honestly, you can not separate your mind from your body, or your
thoughts from your actions.

Tell the truth. First, to yourself. Say it until it hurts. Learn the
reality of your own selfishness. Quit living for other people at the expense of
your own self, you're not really alive. You live in the land of denial - and
they say the view is pretty a long as you remain asleep.

Well it's time to WAKE THE %&#% UP!

So do it. Wake up. When you drink the coffee tomorrow, take it black
and notice it. Feel the caffeine surge through you. ...finish it, and walk away,
forward. Only acts undertaken with commitment have meaning. Only your best
effort matters. Life is a Meritocracy, with death as the auditor. Inconsistency,
incompetence and lies are all cut short by that final word. Death will change
you if you can't change yourself.
-Mark Twight, "Twitching"

So this is how it is going to be for me from now on. I am a runner. I am a woman. I am a girlfriend, a daughter, and a friend. I am an employee. I am a student. I am an artist. And the one thing that I can do that will make me better at all of these things... is to wake up, and make that choice.

And my choice is to shut up and do it. I AM going to make my goals, or at least know that I worked towards them. I am NOT going to talk and talk and talk about how I wish I were... I am going to BE the person I want to be. No more excuses. No more fears. Failure is NOT an option at this time.

Because if I fail - it only... hurts.... me.

And why would I want to do that?
-})i({ RG